Rantings of a simi-lucid mind
All poems Copywrite 2005 ,2006,2007 and 2008 TJ Walsh
Chester and Honey
The Cow
Christmas 1
Christmas 2
SERVICE
Mustard on that pretzel Custard in that pie We'll serve a lot of people Before our turn to die Regular or High Test And service with a smile Gas was cheap in the 60's And they went the extra mile Our mothers serve up our suppers Our fathers put a roof over our heads Until the Sheriff serves Dad with papers That makes him wish that he were dead You may serve a tennis ball Or have someone service your cars Airlines offer service around the world And may one day service the stars When your young you may enter the military And serve your country proud Rock stars serve up your favorite songs And sometimes too damn loud So now you know you can't avoid service No matter where you go or what you do And when at last your laid to rest The funeral service will be for you
His name was Chester Bigglesworth he was Circus Clown. He had a most unusual marriage the strangest one around. You never heard them argue and you never saw them frown. They lived in separate houses on opposite sides of town. When his wife wanted to talk to him she would holler Yoo Hoo She called him Mr. Bigglesworth. It was the proper thing to do Oh she had the style and grace of royalty she was loved by everyone But she shook Chester’s hand and went straight home when the day was done. Her father named her Honey cause she was the sweetest thing He thought his daughter a princess. He thought she should wed a king. But kings aren’t easy to be found I understand round here It would be easier to marry a showman I need to make this clear. This is a town of show folk they sing and dance all day Their job is to make us smile or hum along our way. Then Honey became very sad. She wanted children of her own And that was very hard to do living in separate homes. So Chester and Honey decided it was time to change their fate. Honey moved into Chester’s home so they could populate. And populate they did my friends at first they had twin boys The town was so happy they all brought clothes and toys Then came the triplets. Three lovely girls. The townsfolk thought them beautiful with their lovely golden curls. When the quintuplets were born kids had them on the run But they didn’t stop with the quints cause populating was fun. Now began the trouble in the sextuplet phase. They had no time for each other with 16 kids to raise. Finally 15 kids were grown and they were down to one. So Honey moved back to her old house and when the day was done She would shake Chesters hand and he’d say “Hold on there” As she walked out the door he would grab her derričre. Now I have to tell you that if the truth be told After 16 children that grab might be getting old. But that was not true when he did it she would smile And if that last child were somewhere else they’d get naked and get in a pile. Now the moral of this story is if you marry a lovely lass Remember Chester and Honey and keep your hands off her ass!
I grew up on an Indiana farm How I did it I don't know how But as a child I remember not wanting to milk the cow I asked my mom and asked my dad And they both said the cows, we have too many This is a small farm and it takes everyone to milk all 20 I understood the problem but that did not curb my desire I went over their heads as I prayed each night to an authority that was higher One night the Lord appeared to me as I slept next to my brother And He told me to accept my fate and be happy with the udder. All of your prayers are answered That's the moral to this fable And that cow that gave me so much grief Ended up on my dinner table!
We've all heard about Chris Kringle that happy old elf Who comes down the chimney with gifts that are top shelf. We all know he lives way up north at the pole And has toy shop supreme that jolly ol soul. We know about his Mrs and that one special day He flys every year in his reindeer drawn sleigh. He knows when we sleep and when we're awake He knows we've all been very good for goodness sake. But one thing that no one has ever addressed Is his fancy suit that has everyone impressed. I wondered why it is red and not green or even blue. I never found out so I thought I'd ask you. It could have been pink but that might be to girley Brown's a manley color but he might have looked to searley. Then I thought Orange is a cheery color. Why not? Of course he could have chosen paisley or purple polka dot. But red was his choice to dress his large girth Maybe so he could be seen better as he rounded the earth Then again maybe he don't really care about the color of his clothes Cause he's always got that beakon in Rhudolphs red nose. Red happy color with trimmings in white Sliding down chimneys on wintery nights Must keep his Mrs busy for a month maybe five Just getting that suit clean for his next Christmas ride.
Sometime in December by a fires warm glow Sat Henry and his sister awaiting winters first snow. That was a sure sign that Christmas was near. Sleighrides and glad songs soon would be hear. You see once those first flakes drift toward the earth The towns people start putting other people first. Bells start ringing fresh baked smells fill the air It seems that everyone's your friend and they all seem to care. They care about each other and folks round the globe Everyone's smiling and happy stories are told. Henry and his sister knew that the town would transform The Christmas cold turned all the hearts warm. All year long people deal with much stress They only care about their own needs most times I guess. Smiles are exchanged when the benifit is sure But they only exist for the deal dejour. They invite for dinner the old man down the street Who the rest of the year don't get much to eat. Now this is not true of everyone in town Some citizens try to keep Christmas year round But there aren't really enough out there you see That can keep the spirit without the tree Henry and his sister want us to know That spirit of Christmas isn't carried in the snow. It is carried with us in our heart and mind All we need to do is pay attention sometime That hungry old man seeing the world thru weary eyes Might just be the Christ Child visiting in disguise. Henry and his sister just want us to see. Jesus said what you do unto others you do unto Me.
